Striving, trying

I can do it.  I will do it.

Just gimme a chance. 

I think that I could be

One of those that

Change the world.

 

I’ll turn them away from the dark side. 

I’ll make them see what’s right.

I’ll save them from the enemy. 

My victory is in sight.

 

Striving, trying

I can do it.  I will do it.

It’s harder than I thought.

But a difference I will make.

I’m getting close

I can taste it.

 

But it doesn’t taste sweet

I thought it’d be sweet.

I’ve a sneaking suspicion

I’m failing.  Failing. 

 

Striving, trying

Seems I can’t do it.  I won’t do it.

 

I’ll just try to put on

The usual uniform

Try to figure this out

While I just survive.

I’m boxed into a corner, waiting for the final blow.

But I won’t throw the towel in

I’m still strivin’, tryin’

To own at least this corner.

Face You in this little corner

Until You back down. 

Let me be who I want to be.

Who do I want to be? 

I really want to be

I just want to be

Important.  Valuable. 

I want to accomplish something great.

But you’ve trapped me in this corner.  I’ll wait. 

Striving, trying

I can do it.  I will do it.

 

Working, shopping, making babies, making dinner

Making not much, in my heart’s opinion.

I think I was made to do more than little things

But little things are all there are to do right now.

Learning to do little things.

Learning to listen, learning to root

Learning to be gracious, learning to give.

So many little things.

I’m sorry for ignoring the little things.

This was not my plan, but here I am.

Still. Being still.

 

Why won’t You let me go?

It’s foolishness, You know,

Keeping me, a warrior, in a cage.

Maybe I could win the battle for You.

But that wouldn’t be enough.

Not special enough, not good enough,
Unaccomplished, unimportant,

Never enough.

 

Striving, trying

I can do it.  I will do it.

 

But here I am.

Still.  Just being still.

Just being Yours.

I’ve always been Yours.

And I’m starting to see

The most important I can be

Is Yours.

 

So I’ll trust You.

And when they ask me what I do.

I’ll try not to defend my existence with the things I do. 

I’ll try to be Yours in each moment.

Even in the little things,

Yours.

 

 

Sunita would love to discuss “balancing all the stuff we have to do in life, and how we feel about all those things in terms of identity. “

This entry was posted on Saturday, August 2nd, 2008 at 4:33 pm and is filed under The Gathering. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.