Striving, trying
I can do it. I will do it.
Just gimme a chance.
I think that I could be
One of those that
Change the world.
I’ll turn them away from the dark side.
I’ll make them see what’s right.
I’ll save them from the enemy.
My victory is in sight.
Striving, trying
I can do it. I will do it.
It’s harder than I thought.
But a difference I will make.
I’m getting close
I can taste it.
But it doesn’t taste sweet
I thought it’d be sweet.
I’ve a sneaking suspicion
I’m failing. Failing.
Striving, trying
Seems I can’t do it. I won’t do it.
I’ll just try to put on
The usual uniform
Try to figure this out
While I just survive.
I’m boxed into a corner, waiting for the final blow.
But I won’t throw the towel in
I’m still strivin’, tryin’
To own at least this corner.
Face You in this little corner
Until You back down.
Let me be who I want to be.
Who do I want to be?
I really want to be
I just want to be
Important. Valuable.
I want to accomplish something great.
But you’ve trapped me in this corner. I’ll wait.
Striving, trying
I can do it. I will do it.
Working, shopping, making babies, making dinner
Making not much, in my heart’s opinion.
I think I was made to do more than little things
But little things are all there are to do right now.
Learning to do little things.
Learning to listen, learning to root
Learning to be gracious, learning to give.
So many little things.
I’m sorry for ignoring the little things.
This was not my plan, but here I am.
Still. Being still.
Why won’t You let me go?
It’s foolishness, You know,
Keeping me, a warrior, in a cage.
Maybe I could win the battle for You.
But that wouldn’t be enough.
Not special enough, not good enough,
Unaccomplished, unimportant,
Never enough.
Striving, trying
I can do it. I will do it.
But here I am.
Still. Just being still.
Just being Yours.
I’ve always been Yours.
And I’m starting to see
The most important I can be
Is Yours.
So I’ll trust You.
And when they ask me what I do.
I’ll try not to defend my existence with the things I do.
I’ll try to be Yours in each moment.
Even in the little things,
Yours.
Sunita would love to discuss “balancing all the stuff we have to do in life, and how we feel about all those things in terms of identity. “