by Kathy Berklund-Pagé

     Three weeks into the process of preparing our home to go on the market, we live in chaos as larger repairs eclipse the small upgrades we had planned. Exhaust fans and banisters are no longer up to code. Accessing bathroom lights required removing a kitchen cabinet. When my husband checked a pipe behind the toilet, it burst, spewing water in all directions.

     Part of me—the purely rational, objective part—can laugh, but I’m also aware of a growing franticness. As I poke about in the feeling, I find that house frustrations are only the top layer. A tangled jumble of fears and worries lie beneath. The unknowness of where we will live and work next . . . the teenaged children I must set free to choose their own paths . . . the realization that I no longer hear the characters in my novel talking to each other, or to me. Have they moved away, feeling neglected and offended? Or are they still there, their words lost in the cacophony of other voices shrieking for my attention?

     In both my novel and my real life, I find myself increasingly tight and retreated, with a deep desire to control events and people. Where is the oasis the core of my being needs for passion, love, and imagination, to be released? I ache for something, someone bigger than me, to be bedrock for my heart to rest on.

     I could go to God. But if I do, will I find my creator to be enough?

VAF is updating our ‘links’ section at the right side of this page. Currently, we link several websites of friends who have attended an event or expressed interest in VAF. However, as you can see, we are lacking in ‘resource’ links. This is where you come in, Web Site Surfer.

Let us know what your favorite creativity sparking, artistically minded, beauty musing, and thoughtfully helpful websites are and we will look them over to see if we might want to add them to the right. These could include blogs, online journals, freelance writer’s unions, creative humor, traveling galleries, or the hitchhiker’s guide to mixing paints made from plants. It is really up to you…something that most of us would find useful or enjoyable.

Since you are going to be (hopefully) leaving an excessive amount of links in the comments section be aware that your comment will be Moderated—we will think that you are a clever spammer trying to get us to buy the latest diet pill. Don’t worry; we will release your comment from our Moderator as soon as we can.

Thanks for helping us surf the WWW.